# LIBRARY OF CONGRESS, j 

# — t- 

{UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.} 



\ 




Capt. WM. E. SEES. 



CONVERSION 



OF 



Captain WILLIAM E. SEES. 



HAEEISBUEG, PA. 




PHILADELPHIA: 
LUTHERAN BOARD OF PUBLICATION, 

42 NORTH NINTH STREET. 

1 86 7. 



The Electrotype Plate and Wood Cut of this little volume 
were furnished by the liberality of the Sunday School 
Children of the First English Evangelical Lutheran Church, 
Harrisburg, Pa. 



Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1267, I y 
The Lutheran Publication Boaed, 
in the Clerk's Office of the District Court, for the Eastern District 
of Pennsylvania. 



Jas. B. Rodgees, 
Electrotyper and Printer, 
Philadelphia. 



lie Me Sri jjjsrra. 



The following unpretending narrative has been pre- 
pared at the request of one of the Superintendents of 
the Sunday-school connected with the First English 
Lutheran Church of Harrisburg, Pa., and as a testi- 
monial of affection for the noble-hearted Christian 
brother whose conversion it describes. 

May its perusal tend to keep alive in the hearts of 
those who knew him the remembrance of his virtues, 
and stimulate them to imitate his whole-hearted con- 
secration to the work of winning souls to Christ, a 
work which our Lord has committed not to his mi- 
nisters alone, but to every member of his church. 

To the officers, teachers, and pupils of the Sunday- 
school of which our dear departed brother was so use- 
ful a member, this little volume is respectfully dedi- 
cated by 

Their former pastor, and ever their 
affectionate brother in Christ, 

Charles A. Hay. 
Theological Seminary, Gettysburg, Pa,, 
March 17th, 1867. 



IN MEMORY 



or 

CAPT. ¥M. E. SEES. 



A soldier's funeral! Alas, how common a 
sight it has become ! 

Only a few years ago, whilst committing to the 
grave one of the^eterans of 1814, and thinking 
how the little band of comrades gathered there 
was rapidly diminishing in numbers, and that ail 
were approaching the ordinary limit of human 
life, we ventured upon the remark that such 
scenes, then so rare, would probably soon be no 
longer witnessed ; that all who had borne arms 
in the service of their country, would, ere long, 
be conveyed to the tomb, and the soldier's fune- 
ral would be witnessed no more. 

1* 







Ah, how sadly did we err in our anticipations! 
The solemn music of the funeral dirge; the mea- 
sured tread of the mourning escort ; the smoth- 
ered tones of the muffled drum; the silent crowds 
along the line of the sad procession, paying the 
last tribute of respect to the remains of the brave 
deceased; alas, how frequent now this scene of 
sorrow ! 

Such a scene, but one of more than ordinary 
interest and solemnity, was witnessed in the city 
of Harrisburg, on the 8th of October, 1865. It 
was the funeral of Captain William E. Sees, 
a brave and true-hearted Union soldier, and a 
fearless soldier of the Cross. 



Upon the first breaking out cn e the Rebellion he 
rushed, with characteristic impetuosity, into the 
ranks of the Nation's defenders. He was na- 
turally endowed with great physical agility and 
vigor; was of an ardent, impulsive temperament, 
with a mind of more than ordinary originality, 
and with great force of character. Enthusiasti 
cally patriotic, his noble and generous nature 
prompted him to rush at once to the defence of 
his imperilled country. 



7 



He enlisted as a private in Company E, 
Eleventh Pennsylvania Volunteers, in April, 
1861, and was mustered in as Orderly-Sergeant, 
which position, a very responsible one, particu- 
larly at that early period of the war, he filled with 
much ability and credit. Whilst holding this 
rank he "participated, with his regiment, in the 
first battle of the war, that of Falling Waters, 
Va., on the 2d of July. On the 19th of July, in 
the re-organization of the regiment for the three 
years' service, he was selected to be Captain of 
Company E, with the approval of Major-General 
Robert Patterson, commanding the Department. 
March 6th, 1862, he was commissioned Captain 
of Company D, vice Captain John H. Knox, de- 
ceased, and served with his regiment, at Anna- 
polis, Md., and at White Plains, Va., on the 
Manassas Gap Railroad. He was detailed, with 
his Company, in Eastern Virginia, upon special 
and hazardous duty. May 12th, 1862, he 
marched, with his regiment, via Hartwood 
Church to Falmouth, Va., and joined General 
McDowell's Corps there. May 25th, returned 
with his command by way of Belle Plains, Poto- 
mac Run, by boat to Alexandria, by rail to Ma- 
nassas Junction, and marched by way of Front 



8 



Eoyal to Cedar Creek Station, crossing to the 
forks of the Shenandoah. This was the occasion 
of Banks' retreat from the Valley. Returned to 
Manassas Junction. June 21st, obtained leave 
of absence for fourteen days, on account of sick- 
ness; Special Orders, No. 150, Department Head 
Quarters. He did not again join the regiment, 
owing to sickness; and Sept. 25th, 1862, was 
mustered out of the service at Harrisburg, Pa., 
by Capt. R. J. Dodge, on account of disability." 
These facts have been kindly furnished, from the 
regimental records, by Col. R. Coulter, who com- 
manded the Thirteenth Regiment, and who held 
our departed brother in very high regard for his 
many excellent traits as a soldier. 

Brother Sees was born to be a leader, and 
from his boyhood had always been, by common 
consent, allowed the place of pre-eminence among 
his associates. Bitterly, indeed, did he lament, 
in after years, that he so often led them further 
than they otherwise would have gone in the ways 
of frivolity, recklessness and dissipation. Oh how 
gladly would he then have obliterated all traces 
of his early follies and sins! But this could not 
be. No, dear reader, the memory of our youth- 
ful sins cannot be extinguished, nor can their 



9 



evil influences upon others be arrested. Words 
once spoken can never be recalled; deeds once 
performed can never be undone. Angry, pro- 
fane, untruthful, malicious words cause deep and 
painful wounds, which subsequent kindness can 
never fully heal. And the evil influence of our 
early wickedness keeps on spreading itself like 
expanding circles on the water; — we have started 
it, we can no longer control or check its ruinous 
progress. Oh how heart-sickening is this reflec- 
tion to those who have lived long in sin, and 
have been specially active in early wrong-doing. 

Captain Sees entered, we have said, with all the 
ardor of his restless and impetuous nature, upon 
a career of self-sacrificing devotion to his coun- 
try's cause. Better, perhaps, for himself and for 
his country, had he exercised greater prudence 
in the discharge of his duties, and paid more re- 
gard to the preservation of his health. "I 
thought I could stand anything," he afterwards 
said, as he looked back with regret upon his reck- 
less exposure of himself, and his needless assump- 
tion of exhausting labors, such as no human con- 
stitution can endure. By a course of gymnastic 
training, at intervals of leisure in the work-shop, 
he had so educated and invigorated his physical 



10 



powers as to be able, according to the testimony 
of his employer, to lift almost incredible weights, 
and to prove himself more than a match for many 
who made their boast of pugilistic skill and agi- 
lity. As a leader among the firemen of his na- 
tive town, he repeatedly distinguished himself by 
deeds of daring, and twice came near losing his 
life in his brave efforts to save the property of 
his fellow-citizens. And now, when there came 
the cry for help from his insulted and imperilled 
country, he seemed to exult in the consciousness 
of the possession of a more than ordinary share 
of physical energy, and of a constitution har- 
dened, as he believed, so as to be fitted to bear 
almost any amount of toil and exposure; and, 
careless of himself, he rushed into the conflict, 
anxious only to strike rapid and heavy blows in 
defence of his country's cause. 

"Whilst thus bravely and self-sacrificingly con- 
tending for the right, he rapidly rose in the esti- 
mation of his fellow-soldiers, both of those whom 
he commanded, and of those who, from higher 
stations, admiringly witnessed his unflagging zeal 
and devotion. The prospect of widely increas- 
ing usefulness, and a career of rapid promotion 
opened up before him. How great that useful- 



11 



Bees might Lave been, and to what a height of 
military renown that career might have elevated 
him, we cannot tell, for his course was suddenly 
arrested; he was taken sick and brought to his 
home to pine away and die. 

How strangely mysterious are many of the 
ways of Divine Providence! Just such men 
were so sadly needed in our great struggle; with 
brave hearts and strong arms, and an ardent zeal 
for truth and justice, and all a-glow with genuine 
patriotism. And when they stepped forth and 
drew their swords in obedience to their country's 
call — when they heroically rushed to her rescue, 
how disheartening, how heart-sickening, to see 
them fall, and to hear the shouts of exultant 
traitors hastening to enter by the breach thus 
made ! But we had much to learn in this great 
struggle, now so happily ended. We needed to be 
taught not to rely upon an arm of flesh, but to 
love justice, and to show mercy; to maintain the 
cause of the oppressed, to fear God and work 
righteousness. Alas! that it was necessary for 
us to suffer so many reverses, and to lose so many 
precious lives before we were ready to compre- 
hend our whole duty, and really willing to dis- 
charge it! 



12 



I was aroused from my sleep one night in the 
month of September, 1862, by a messenger sent 
to summon me to the bedside of Capt. Sees, who, 
it was supposed; was about to die. Hastening to 
his home, in the upper end of the city, I found 
him in an extremely enfeebled condition, but 
apparently rallying from the exhaustion produced 
by a violent hemorrhage. He was perfectly con- 
scious, and was quietly looking out into what 
seemed to him a dark and strangely mysterious 
but utterly hopeless future. He thought he was 
dying; he knew he was not prepared ; and yet he 
manifested no terror, but seemed to be summon- 
ing himself to meet his end bravely, whatever the 
issue might be. His state of mind seemed to be 
something like 'this : " T have never been a cow- 
ard, and I cannot afford to be one now. If I 
must die, I will die, but I won't give up." Alas, 
how strangely deluded is often the heart of the im- 
penitent sinner ! How utterly mistaken his views 
in reference to his relations to God ! With many 
noble and generous impulses, there is often cou- 
pled the strangest prejudice, and He who is the 
best of friends is held to be an implacable enemy. 

As the simple story of the cross was affection- 
ately related to this apparently dying unbeliever, 



13 



and the wonderful love of God was described as 
sparing sinners, such as he was, through so many 
years of rebellion, and now presenting, even at 
the last moment, the kind offer of pardon and 
reconciliation, without money and without price, 
he listened eagerly, and seemed amazed and almost 
bewildered. He begged to hear more of this, for 
it was wonderful and strangely interesting; " but," 
said he, " it has no application to me. It is all 
over with me. But how strange that I never 
thought of these things before. Oh ; if I only 
had!" 

Contrary to the expectations of all around him, 
ne became slowly convalescent. He was soon 
fully satisfied, however, that he could never take 
the field again ; and so, in perfect keeping with 
his noble and unselfish character, unwilling to 
take pay for services he could not perform, he had 
himself taken in a carriage to a mustering office, 
and was mustered out of service, though needing 
the money, to which he was justly entitled, for 
his daily wants, and unable to engage in any 
business for the support of his family. 

As soon as he was strong enough to read, he 
thankfully perused what was placed in his hands, 
but without much apparent benefit. I greatly 
2 



14 



regret that, owing to the incessant demands upon 
my time and attention during those days of ex- 
citement, with camps and hospitals all around us, 
my private journal has so little to testify concern- 
ing the repeated and intensely interesting con- 
versations held with the subject of this sketch 
during that crisis-period of his history. To deal 
with such an open-hearted, honest inquirer ; to 
witness the strivings of the Spirit in a case so in- 
genuous, and therefore to an experienced ob- 
server so hopeful; to have the privilege of un- 
folding the precious truths of the Gospel , even 
the unsearchable riches of Christ, to one just 
awaking to a consciousness of his need of a Sa- 
viour and ready to follow his honest convictions 
whithersoever they may lead him; — Oh, what a 
luxury is this, and how richly such a labor of love 
is already freighted, in itself, with its own " re- 
ward !" Gradually the light began to break in upon 
his mind, and he became able to recognize in 
Christ the Lord his own Redeemer and the Captain 
of his salvation. The great God whom he at first 
distantly adored, with amazement at His power, 
so vast, and His wisdom, so wonderful, he now 
began to approach as his Father, compassionate 
and merciful. He began to realize that God 



15 



cared even for him, and was really willing to for- 
give even him, for Christ's sake. It seemed al- 
most too good to be trne, and yet he found that 
it was indeed true; and so, with all the ardor of 
his impulsive nature, he hastened to throw him- 
self into his Heavenly Father's arms, and give 
Him his whole heart. 

Of his own accord ; and prompted, I have no 
doubt ; by a desire to give me some proof of his 
gratitude and attachment, he drew up the follow- 
ing communication shortly after his conversion, 
and subsequently handed it to me ; during one of 
our interviews. 

Harrisburg, Nov. 14, 1862. 

Rev. Charles Hay: 

Sir : — I should have called upon or communi- 
cated with you at an earlier date, but knowing how 
much your time was occupied in earnest endea- 
vors to alleviate both the temporal and spiritual 
wants of the sick and wounded soldiers, and I 
will confess, too, natural diffidence on the great 
subject of religion, made me loath to come to you 
until this time ; when a sense of justice to you 
demands me to tell you all and to solicit encour- 
agement. 



16 



You no doubt remember your last visit to me. 
You found me still in great doubt and perplexity, 
foolishly trying to wade through great mysteries, 
and make myself good enough to claim salvation 
as a right instead of humbly praying for it as a 
boon or gift, persuading myself that until I could 
imagine to myself and comprehend the great 
Creator, I could not bow in humility to Him and 
ask for that mercy that not to obtain was eternal 
perdition. 

You left the first series of Dr. Spencer's 
Sketches with me, together with a tract, the sub- 
ject of which was an extract from Bunyan's 
" Pilgrim's Progress," on " Conversion/' or rather 
the mode. The next day I read the tract and 
the story of a The Young Irishman," from Dr. 
Spencer, but my weak and sinful mind was blunt- 
ed, and that which should have shed light was 
still dark to me. After a long and painful train 
of thought, I was compelled to acknowledge 
that there was a great Being to whom I was ac- 
countable, and if I should die as I was, in my 
sins, a terrible doom awaited me — but, I was 
forced to admit, a just one — because of my neglect, 
and my open and defiant rebellion to His will, 
and my resistance to the strivings of the Holy 



17 



Spirit. Then in earnest I asked myself, where 
shall I look for help? The arch-enemy plied me 
unmercifnlly with doubts and trouble, till I was 
constrained to groan in my agony of spirit. My 
prospect of peace seemed dark and gloomy in- 
deed, and almost led me to think there was no 
hope for me. When almost sinking beneath the 
crushing weight of this conviction, as a last re- 
sort, I looked up and prayed God that, as I could 
do nothing for myself, but was wicked and sinful 
by nature, weighed down and overwhelmed with 
doubts and perplexities, that He would forgive 
me, have mercy on me, just as I am, all covered 
with sin. I was lost and undone forever, unless 
He would save me just as I am. While earnestly 
praying in that spirit, a bright and hopeful light 
broke through my darkened understanding. I was 
astounded with the belief that this was just what 
G-od required me to do, and had been telling me 
to do, nay, urging me to do, for years, from out 
His holy word, the pulpit, and many divers ways ; 
but I had been blind. As this light broke in 
upon me, all my doubts and darkness vanished as 
thin air. I then felt and understood how I could 
have faith in things not seen with earthly eyes. 
I then saw where that sweet peace came from 
# 2* 



18 



that is enjoyed by those that love God and take 
firm hold of His promises. Blessed promises 
they are, when we see them as God meant that we 
should ! Then I began to see J esus in the light 
of the atonement, how He suffered as a man in 
the flesh for all men, that through His atonement 
all might be saved. I then felt His power as a 
Mediator and Intercessor for sinners. All came 
clear to me. I do not know much yet, but I 
have no doubts. I know enough. I can now 
understand how poor illiterate mortals can have 
that great and saving measure of faith that I 
once called a delusion; because, as I reasoned, 
how can they understand what the wisest of men 
are at a loss to comprehend ? How little do we 
know of God's plans, is now my cry; but be they 
what they may, they are all right. I have now 
determined to live without offence before God, 
and with His help I will try. It is hard, though, 
to do it. I find I do not succeed so well as I 
should; but I will do the best I can ; and leave 
the rest to Him. He is our Father, and as such 
I can now ask Him to forgive, with the hope that 
He will, which comfort I was devoid of before. 
I know that the great discovery of God's goodness 
and ineroy that I made does not make me a Chris- 



19 



tian, but I have firm faith that through the atone- 
ment and intercession of Jesus, it is all-sufficient 
to save me, if I hold fast to the promises of God, 
who has said He will in no wise cast me out. But 
I need counsel and assistance. I am weak in 
body and spirit, irritable in my temper. I pray 
for strength to conquer these troubles. It is all 
I can do; and even then, they get the better of 
me sometimes. 

I am glad that I read no more of Dr. Spencer's 
Sketches until after light came to me, as he re- 
lates so many instances like mine, that I am 
afraid I would have thought that I was led into 
that train of thought by his stories. It is a satis- 
faction that I found it out myself. It was dis- 
covered to me in such a way that I have never 
since had a doubt. I laugh now at doubts, and 
see how foolish the wisest are, who deny God. 

Hoping soon to have the pleasure of a conver- 
sation with you ; I remain, 

Yours, respectfully, 

Wm. E. Sees. 

Is not that a beautiful picture? My eyes grow 
dim with tears of joy and gratitude every time I 
look at it ! Here is the touching simplicity of a 



20 



heart without guile, nobly struggling to tear it- 
self away from the thraldom of sin, and coming 
out rejoicingly into the true liberty of the chil- 
dren of God. What a triumph of grace ! That 
one so fixed in habits of ungodliness, so com- 
pletely committed to the ways of the world, a 
ringleader in scenes of riotous revelling, and 
seeming to himself utterly beyond all hope of 
pardon or reformation, that such an one should 
experience so sound and thorough a conversion 
to true godliness, this is a spectacle calculated to 
cheer the heart of every true believer, and stimu- 
late all to persevering efforts in behalf even of 
those who seem to be farthest from the kingdom 
of God. 

Observe, dear .reader, how life-like is this nar- 
rative; how simply and yet how graphically it 
sets forth all the essential features of the divine 
work, the new creation in Christ J esus ! 

Bro. Sees does not, indeed, here speak of the 
beginning of this work — that is of his awakening. 
Of that he spoke to me often, in the same strain. 
On one occasion he said to me, "God had to hit 
me very hard to bring me to this; but I'm glad 
he did it." a What a fool I was; and I thought 
I was smart!" He often alluded to his sickness 



21 



as the greatest blessing that had ever been con- 
ferred upon him. "If it had not been for this, 
I don't think I ever would have come to Jesus." 

But he sets forth here, very clearly, the condi- 
tion of the awakened sinner, groping in darkness, 
striving to understand mysteries, and to compre- 
hend the deep things of Grod, before consenting 
to believe; "foolishly trying to wade through 
great mysteries, * * persuading myself that 
until I could imagine to myself, and comprehend 
the Great Creator, I could not bow in humility to 
Him, and ask for that mercy that not to obtain 
was eternal perdition." 

How many there are who never get beyond this 
state of mind ! Because they cannot understand 
the great mystery of godliness; because they can- 
not comprehend how God can be just, and yet 
justify the sinner who believes in Jesus, they re- 
fuse to believe and so perish in their sins. 

Again, he graphically describes the attempts 
of the awakened sinner to commend himself to 
God hy a righteousness of his own, — making 
" myself good enough to claim salvation as a right, 
instead of humbly praying for it as a boon or 

gift." 



22 



Alas, how many here make shipwreck of their 
hopes! They would accept of pardon if they 
were allowed to pay for it; but, with all their 
professed humility, they are too proud to receive 
their pardon " without money and without price." 
And so, because they cannot save themselves, and 
will not submit to the humiliating terms of the 
gospel, they, too, will stand rejected at the bar of 
Christ. 

With others, the case, though different, is 
equally hopeless. These work, and strive, and do 
all manner of things that seem to them merito- 
rious in the sight of God (doing penance, after 
a Protestant fashion,) and bye and bye, perhaps 
through sheer exhaustion, they experience some 
measure of relief ; or, by laying hold of some false 
and unscriptural hope, persuade themselves that 
now their struggle is over, and they have "found 
peace " and " got religion." And they are much 
surprised to discover that neither the church nor 
the world can see that they are any better than 
before; for all such man-made religion is worth- 
less in the sight of God, and yields no genuine 
fruits of righteousness. "All our righteousnesses 
are as filthy rags." 



23 



Bro. Sees, in this account of his conversion, 
next exhibits the genuine self-condemnation of 
the true penitent. " My own mind was blunted." 
"A terrible doom awaited me, but, I was forced 
to admit, a just one, because of my neglect and 
my open and defiant rebellion to His will, and my 
resistance to the strivings of the Holy Spirit." 

There is, indeed, no hope of a genuine conver- 
sion, until the sinner, out of a truly honest heart, 
excfaims, "God, be merciful to me a sinner!" 
" Father, I have sinned." Nor is there, in this, 
any proof of weakness or pusillanimity. Just 
the opposite. To refuse to acknowledge a fault 
when convinced of it, this is a mark of a little 
mind as well as of a depraved heart. We should 
be ashamed to sin * but, having sinned, we should 
not be ashamed to confess it. And nothing short 
of this will suffice when the sinner desires to make 
his peace with God. " If we confess our sins, he 
is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to 
cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 

We see, too, in this narrative, strikingly illus 
trated, the true penitent's consciousness of utter 
helplessness. u Then in earnest I asked myself, 
where shall I look for pity V — "Almost led me 
to think there was no hope for me." " I could 



24 



do nothing for myself." "All covered with sin." 
" Lost and undone forever." 

Probably no one, when at first awakened, has 
anything like an adequate conception of his own 
moral weakness: We are all prone to think of 
ourselves more highly than we ought to think, 
in this respect, as in all others. And we are slow 
to be convinced that we can do nothing of our- 
selves toward the renewing of our hearts, but 
must accept of our pardon, and of all the bless- 
ings of the gospel, entirely through the mercy of 
God, bestowed upon us freely, out of pure com- 
passion for us in our utterly ruined and helpless 
condition. It is a Saviour that we need, and 
not until we truly feel our need of Him, will we 
rightly seek His interposition on our behalf; nor, 
until we thus truly seek, is it morally possible for 
us to find relief and deliverance. 

Next, we rejoice to observe, in this narrative 
of brother Sees, a beautiful illustration of the 
prayer and glance of faith. Here is the crisis, 
the turning point; and how simply and naturally 
expressed! "As a last resort, I looked up and 
prayed God that * * He would forgive me, 
and have mercy on me, just as I am," etc. Oh, 
why is it that the convicted sinner, groaning in 



25 



the bitterness of his spirit, will not, like the ser- 
pent-bitten Israelite in the desert, at once "look 
up " and see Him that was lifted up in order that 
He might draw all men unto Him! "Look and 
live." "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and 
thou shalt be saved." 

We notice, next, the first consciousness of the 
new life, as he began to see Jesus in the light of 
the atonement. "A bright and hopeful light 
broke through my darkened understanding." No 
dream, no vision, no special revelation of the Sa- 
viour, but "I began to feel His power as a Me- 
diator and Intercessor for sinners." "As this 
light broke in upon me, all my doubts and dark- 
ness vanished as thin air." "I then saw where 
that sweet peace came from that is enjoyed by 
those that love God, and take firm hold of His 
promises." "All came clear to me." 

The Holy Spirit is the best interpreter. When 
the heart ceases to resist His gracious influences, 
they come in and take possession, dispelling its 
darkness, and filling the soul with light, and 
peace, and love and joy, in believing "With 
the heart man believeth unto righteousness." 
Before the rising of the Sun of righteousness in 
the heart ; ail manner of infidel objections against 
3 



26 



the gospel disappear, like the early mist of the 
morning. Suddenly they vanish ; and the hum- 
ble and grateful believer, as he clings affection- 
ately to his newly-found Redeemer, wonders how 
he ever could have cherished a doubt as to His 
being indeed the Son of God and Saviour of the 
world. 

The true convert humbly acquiesces in the Di- 
vine will. "I do not know much yet — I know 
enough. — How little do we know of God's plans, 
is now my cry ; but, be they what they may, they 
are all right." 

Then follows the hearty consecration to a cheer- 
ful and grateful obedience. " I am now deter- 
mined to live without offence before God, and by 
His help I will. try." "X pray for strength." 

And, lastly, the possession of a joyful assurance. 
"I have firm faith that, through the atonement 
and intercession of Jesus, it is sufficient to save 
me." " I laugh at doubts, and see how foolish 
the wisest are who deny God." 

Such a narrative, unsophisticated, straightfor- 
ward, coming fresh from the heart, is peculiarly 
valuable and instructive, and I hope, dear reader, 
}^ou will study it and compare it with your own 
experience; for such a comparison can hardly 



27 



fail to be profitable to you. One person's conver- 
sion is not, indeed, to be set up as a model for 
others; nor can we expect to see a very close 
conformity in the precise order and measure of 
the spiritual exercises of those who are the subjects 
of Divine grace; and yet while there are diversities 
of operations, it is the same Spirit that worketh 
in all, and the leading characteristics of every 
genuine conversion must be always and every- 
where essentially the same. "As in water face 
answereth to face, so the heart of man to man." 
There is in every one the same evil heart of un- 
belief, the same proneness to neglect God and 
trample upon His authority, the same necessity 
for genuine repentance, and the same impossibi- 
lity of experiencing true peace of conscience and 
of acceptably serving God except through sincere 
faith in Jesus Christ and a hearty submission to 
the sanctifying influences of the Holy Spirit. 

From the time of his conversion the progress 
of Brother Sees in the Divine life was singularly 
rapid. Never, indeed, have I witnessed such a 
clearly marked and beautifully symmetrical de- 
velopment of the various graces of the true Chris- 
tian character in so short a time. Unaffected 



28 



humility shone forth in striking contrast with 
his former overbearing imperiousness of manner; 
his passionate impetuosity, ready to flame out 
into revenge at the slightest insult, was softened 
into a pure and holy enthusiasm for the right and 
the good and the true ; his promptness to take the 
lead in every reckless adventure, where there was 
opportunity for daring and a chance to win re- 
nown among his fellows, gave place to a glowing 
and self-sacrificing devotion to the cause of the 
dear Redeemer, whom he now so ardently loved. 
It was delightful to see how soon and how clearly 
he appreciated the cardinal principles of the gos- 
pel, and how consistently and unflinchingly he 
applied them to all the affairs of life, both public 
and private. 

I well remember the amazement he expressed 
at the utterances of a minister of the Gospel, 
then residing at Harrisburg, whom he found it 
necessary to call upon for the discharge of a pas- 
toral duty during my absence from the city. Con- 
versing with him upon the great topic of the day, 
he was shocked to hear the system of slavery de- 
fended and the opinion expressed that " it is not 
so easy to tell which party is right in this great 
struggle !" (i Only think of it," said he, " and 



29 



that from a Minister of the Gospel!" "Well," 
said I, "and what did you answer him ?" u I told 
him that I was only a beginner in religion, and 
it did not become me to claim to be wiser than 
ministers ; but I thought it very strange that 
any one could think it right to own and sell a fel- 
low-man ; and, as to the rebellion, I could 
not think there was much room to doubt on 
which side God was, when you saw these rebels 
breaking all their solemn oaths and making war 
against a good government just because it would 
not let them manage it in the interests of sla- 
very." 

In a letter to a friend, dated July 22, '64, this 
characteristic passage occurs. Ci My health is? 
as usual, very variable, but on the whole seems to 
be better than this time last year. I try not to 
be much concerned about it, and to be resigned 
to my Master's will, ready to go or willing to 
stay, but alas £ the spirit indeed is willing but 
the flesh is weak/ and sometimes I find myself 
wishing robust health, that I might again face 
the foe of Right, and my anger rises hot when I 
hear the blatant voice of treason at our street 
corners, exulting over our reverses. But may 

God forgive me the sudden risings of hatred ! 
3* 



30 



This is His war, and in His own time will our Glo- 
rious Triumphant Saviour put all His enemies 
under His feet. We can afford to wait, and in 
the mean time pity and forgive them, for their 
exultation will be short and ours eternal." 

Now, religion had become to him the princi- 
pal thing, and everything was brought to the test 
of the Word of God, which he most heartily ac- 
cepted as his guide, and to the study of which he 
devoted himself with intense interest and de- 
light. 

He made a public profession of religion on the 
16th of January, 1862, and adorned this profes- 
sion by a truly consistent deportment and a life 
of genuine devotion to the cause of his dear Re- 
deemer. So soon as he had sufficiently recovered 
to admit of it, he took charge of a class of young 
men in the Sunday-school, which rapidly increased 
in number and became ardently attached to him. 
Most zealously and affectionately he labored for 
their conversion, and clung to them with ever-in- 
creasing interest and concern for their spiritual 
welfare, meeting regularly with them until with- 
in two weeks of his death. Of this class, num- 
bering sixteen, more than one third have already 
given their hearts to the Lord, and we trust that 



t 



31 



sooner or later all of them will be found gathered 
into the fold of the Redeemer and ready to be 
welcomed by their beloved teacher as they enter 
the heavenly home. 

One of his class left home to pursue a course 
of study in Pennsylvania College, at Gettysburg; 
and you will be interested, dear reader, to ob- 
serve how the heart of his affectionate teacher 
followed him and how faithfully he strove to win 
him to Christ. 

Under date of June 27th, 1864, he writes : — 
" Friend J. 

* * " I frequently inquire about you and 
am gratified to learn that you are energetically 
pursuing your studies. J., you cannot estimate 
the opportunity that is now afforded you. If you 
were placed by the kindness of the owner in a 
rich gold mine and told by him that for a cer- 
tain space of time you might have all the gold 
you could find, you would be very industrious. 
You are in a richer mine than California can 
boast of. My advice then is that you take care 
of your bodily health first, because without that 
you cannot delve with that vigor and endurance 
which insures success. To do this be sure and 
obey the rules of the Institution, which are made 



32 

with a view to the laws of health by wiser men 
than you or I. Good health and a sound mind 
well stored with useful knowledge are inestima- 
ble blessings, and good education is a more reli- 
able capital than much money to commence life 
upon. I have no doubt your kind Father, who 
affords you these great advantages has told you 
this and more, in a clearer and more convincing 
manner than I can ; but not having had such 
advantages myself, and feeling the loss and need 
of them, I add my testimony, that, by the mouth 
of two witnesses, he from the experience of pos- 
session, and I by the experience of want, you 
may be convinced of the truth. 

" The class is progressing finely. * * I like 
my class very much, and am under obligations to 
you for constructing it for me. If the Romish 
doctrine of works was Gospel, I would say that 
your action in forming this class was like Paul 
says of charity, it would hide a multitude of 
sins. 

"J., I know the lightness of the youthful 
heart at your age. None knows better than I do 
how dull such a letter will be to you. But, J., I 
have got the spectacles of a painful experience 
on, and you must take things as I see them, and 



33 



certainly the colors will be more sober, not to say 
sombre, than you will like. But, J., take my 
letters like you do a dose of medicine, not be- 
cause you like it, but for the good it may do 
you. I make this preface, because I am going 
to tell you again that which I told you when you 
were home, to seek the Lord now while you are 
young. J., the greatest of all wisdom in the 
world is contained in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 
If I knew how to induce you to believe this, and 
then to come to Him as He wants you to, I would 
be willing to write every day for the rest of my 
life. But I can only assert it to be so; and, aye, 
one more thing I can do, I can join my prayers 
to your father's, and mother's, and sister's, to our 
blessed Saviour, that your eyes may be opened to 
the importance of making Jesus your friend. 
For that He is a Friend that sticketh closer than 
a brother will always, by His help, be testified to 
by "Your Friend and Teacher, 

"Wm. E. Sees." 

Again, under date of July 22, 1864. 

* * * u That better knowledge, the knowledge 
of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ as your 



34 



Saviour, you can get, and ought to get now without 
delay. This knowledge is the gift of God, and 
He will impart it to you, if you ask desiringly 
for it. J., I believe in prayer to God, and I will 
pray for you, and at the same time urge upon you 
to pray to God earnestly that He may open your 
eyes that you may see your need of Him. Do 
this now; do not delay it. I might make a long 
appeal to you, but there is no need in your case. 
You know that the responsibility is greater with 
you than with others, * * * you may infer all 
the rest, and I will leave you in the hands of 
God. Do me this favor, to think of me when 
you pray, and pray for me along with your other 
friends, and remember that I too pray our Hea- 
venly Father that you may learn to love Him 
and give Him all vour heart." 

To the same friend he writes, Oct. 29, 1864, 
as follows : 

* * * " I am pleased to learn that your Insti- 
tution opens encouragingly as to numbers. I 
suppose some of them intend to become ministers 
of the Gospel. I hope many of them may, and 
that their minds be not alone filled with the 



35 



learning of the schools, but be enlightened by the 
Holy Spirit, that they may be teachers indeed of 
the people, pointing them to and leading them in 
the ' Way;' expounding clearly and presenting 
fearlessly the 1 Truth ; ' that they and their hearers 
may be partakers of the £ Life/ even in this 
world, quickening them in the pursuit of 1 Life 
Eternal/ 

" J., I earnestly desire that neither pleasure nor 
ambition may allure and absorb your mind to 
such an extent that you will neglect to investi- 
gate who this was that boldly asserted, in the 
teeth of the proud Pharisaical teachers of that 
day, and in the face of all the plans of men of 
this day to save themselves, ' I am the way, and 
the truth and the life, and no man cometh unto 
the Father but by me/ Never rest satisfied un- 
til you have the certain knowledge, for without 
this all other knowledge is useless ; for 'what 
doth it profit a man if he gain the whole world 
and lose his own soul ? ' * * * His Spirit will 
not always strive, and surely and certainly eternal 
woe will be the result of your neglect or refusal 
of His offers of mercy. I repeat, I might re- 
mind you of this, with many and strong reasons, 
but you know it all. You have no excuse, no 



36 



nothing, and, in view of all the facts and circum- 
stances, much to add to your condemnation if you 
persist in neglecting this great preparation for 
death. I speak plain. When on this subject I 
must. I was in the jaws of death; my sins like 
a mountain rising between me and an offended 
God; and only by the mercy of God was time 
granted me, for which, glory to God ! now and 
forever ! And ought I not to speak plain when I 
made such a narrow escape from the very mouth 
of hell? And, J., its horrors have not been miti- 
gated since I was there. Unless you repent, you 
will find it the same awful place which Dives 
found it to be. J., do not drive serious thoughts 
out of your head; in other words, do not grieve 
the Holy Spirit; listen to it now; let all else go, 
but give heed to the voice of God. 

* * * " That the Lord may give you His Spirit, 
and show you yourself as He sees you, is the 
prayer of your 

" Friend and Teacher, 

"Wm. E. Sees." 

To another member of his Sunday-school class, 
who had removed to Philadelphia, he writes, un- 
der date of April 26, 1865: 

" You have my best wishes, and also my prayers 



37 

to a merciful and all-wise God for both your tem- 
poral and spiritual welfare. C, do not let the 
allurements of a large city seduce you from the 
path of integrity and virtue. Connect yourself 
with some Sabbath-school, and seek the society of 
those who love the Lord. Make it the business 
of your life to prepare for death, that you may be 
prepared for that rest which is prepared for the 
people of God. < What doth it profit a man if 
he gain the whole world and lose his own soul?' 
This is the language of our great Master, the- 
Creator of our souls and the Saviour of them, ifj 
we will accept the salvation He so freely offers. 
Think of it; who knows so well as He? He did 
not tell us what all the glory of heaven .was; but 
it is clearly implied in the above question, when 
he places the joys of heaven in contrast with the 
ownership of the whole world ; also the utter risk 
and awful horror of eternal night in hell is as 
truly implied. Ask yourself seriously, C. ; have I 
my peace made with God? If your conscience 
tells you No, then do not rest a moment but pray 
God for Christ's sake to enlighten you by His Holy 
Spirit, that you may see yourself as He sees you, 
that you may flee from the wrath to come. Do 
this, is my prayer, and all will be well." 



38 

To the same pupil, under date of May 16, 18C5. 
he writes: 

"I was much pleased with the tone of your 
letter. Adhere to those principles and put your 
trust in God. Go to Him for advice in every 
perplexity; make Him the Man of your counsel. 
•C, I am in earnest. Every trouble that is large 
enough to afflict you, is large enough to take to 
our Father. Every new step in life, do not make 
it till you have prayed God for .direction. Do 
nothing that you cannot ask God's blessing upon, 
and you are safe. Do not let present advantage 
blind you with regard to your eternal welfare. 
Forego present gain if it is not right. C, prac- 
tice much in prayer. You can do all things by 
faith in Christ, and the practice of it in prayer. 
Health, wealth, wisdom, and a winning manner 
and address, fitting you for business and pleasant 
association. Christian graces are more beautiful 
than any acquired in earthly schools; the true 
Christian is the only true gentleman. And all 
these maybe had for the asking. C, try and see 
what a rich friend you have in Christ. C, in 
your prayers remember your teacher; for though 
I advise you, I need help and sustaining grace as 



39 



much as any one. * * * Our school is getting 
thin this warm weather. Many prefer to go to 
the woods and fields. I have no objection, if they 
praise God there; the fear Is, that not good but 
evil is in their thoughts. God knows and judges. 
I hope that our success may continue, for we have 
had a fine school. Though, if my health does not 
improve, I shall have to stop teaching, which will 
grieve me much." 

Along with this letter he sent the usual certi- 
ficate of dismission from the Sunday-school, which 
he covered with a special and cordial endorse- 
ment, concluding as follows : 

"I can safely recommend him to the confidence 
of men under all circumstances. Especially do I 
recommend him to the care of God's people. 
Watch over him, and be as a shield over and 
around about him, that he may feel that the 
Church is God's family, each member entitled 
to full privileges and protection, nurture and 
nourishment." 

To the same friend, recovering from sickness, 
a few months later, he wrote: "C, do nothing 



40 

that will injure your health. Much as I delight 
to hear from you, I would forego this pleasure 
rather than to feel that that time which should be 
spent in repose and recreation was spent in 
writing to me. Take care of yourself, and use 
all proper means, looking to our good God and 
Father to bless, and all may yet be well. I fre- 
quently remember you in my prayers, that you 
may be completely restored to health, and kept 
in the faith, manifesting your faith in good works 
and upright conduct, making it the rule of your 
life to follow after the pattern of our Saviour, 
obeying His precepts and commandments. C, I 
am satisfied from my short experience, that a 
man may live so near to Jesus, as to learn of Him 
every day, and become more and more like Him 
in unselfishness and love to his fellow-men. Be- 
lieve me, there are attainments within the reach 
of every true child of God, which will make him 
unspeakably happy even in this present evil world. 
May God give you deep and fervent love for 
Jesus, then obedience will be easy. * * * * 
Thank God that I am as well as I am. He still 
permits me to walk about, while many poor mor- 
tals, better than me, are confined to beds of suf- 
fering and pain. If it is His will, I hope to re- 



41 



cover. My best days were spent in the service 
of Satan. Now, in His infinite mercy, my eyes 
have been opened, and I would like to serve Him 
in the land of the living. May He give me grace 
to say in sincerity : c Thy will, not mine, be done/ 
* * C, we are in God's hands; let us pray 
for each other. Our Saviour says : 'All things 
whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, that 
ye shall receive/ This is an exceeding great 
and precious promise. Let us remind Him of it in 
prayer, and have faith, and He will answer us. 
May God give us more faith, that, like faithful 
Abraham, we may not stagger in unbelief. Now, 
may God bless you and keep you safely through 
all your trials, for our blessed Saviour's sake, is 
the prayer of your friend and 

"Brother in Christ, 

"Wm. E. Sees/' 

It may well occasion surprise to those who are 

aware of the very limited early opportunities of 

instruction enjoyed by our dear, departed brother, 

that he should be able to write so clearly, and 

forcibly, and fluently. But he possessed a mind 

of unusual quickness and originality; and now, 

that his heart was all alive with a yearning de- 
4* 



42 



sire to benefit spiritually all over whom he could 
exert an influence, his words fall from his lips 
and flow from his pen with an unction and a 
pathos that are truly remarkable. Nor have 
these appeals and these epistles been in vain. "A 
word in season, how good is it I" 

The Christian career of Bro. Sees was brief, 
but it was marked by many features that are well 
deserving of imitation by others who have long 
been professed followers of Christ. To his fellow- 
teachers in the Sunday School his example is a 
powerful incentive to punctuality in attendance 
and fidelity in dealing with their pupils. It was 
affecting to see him slowly moving along toward 
the church, supporting his tall and emaciated 
frame upon his staff, and stopping every now and 
then to regain his breach, and gather a little 
strength for another effort. how slight a cause 
keeps many a teacher at home, when the expec- 
tant class, disheartened, sits idly waiting, or 
perhaps disperses and is gradually broken up ! 
Teachers, be punctual while you can, and let your 
vivid recollection of this dear brother's example 
be a perpetual stimulus for you in this respect. 
And lay to heart, too^ and imitate his se[f sacri- 
ficing devotion to the true welfare of his pupils, 



43 



his affectionate earnestness in pleading with them 
to avoid his early errors, and begin in their youth 
to love the Saviour, and yield their hearts to His 
control. Be not discouraged by their apparent 
indifference and unwillingness to heed your coun- 
sels. Bro. Sees, in his boyhood, was a pupil in 
your Sunday School, and by his own acknow- 
ledgment, the most inattentive and troublesome 
of them all; but he assured me that in many an 
hour of subsequent wandering in the ways of sin, 
the kind counsels of Mr. P. B., then the Superin- 
tendent of the school, would ring in his ears, and 
that in his wildest days he always entertained the 
most sincere respect and regard for Mr. A. E., 
his Sunday School teacher. Perhaps, without 
the aid of these early influences, he might never 
have been brought to the knowledge of the 
truth. 

He loved the young men's prayer-meeting, and 
he became indeed the very life and soul of it. 
There he first ventured, as many others, to lead in 
social prayer, and there we first learned how richly 
God had endowed him with that grace and gift also. 
Not without reason did Brother Conrad designate 
him £i a very prince in prayer for the Lord who 
thus equipped him, added a special unction to his 



prayers, clothing them with a wonderfully quick- 
ening power, and making them more effectual 
than sermons for the awakening of the careless 
and the edifying of his brethren. 

About two years ago his health had so much 
improved that he attempted to resume his former 
occupation, that of a coach-trimmer, but was soon 
compelled to relinquish the undertaking, the dust 
of the shop irritating his lungs and aggravating 
his cough. He soon after that received an ap- 
pointment in connection with Camp Curtin, the 
duties of which were light, but which soon severely 
tested his Christian principles. The officer in 
command ordered him to perform some labor on 
the Lord's day that was altogether unnecessary. 
He felt it to-be his duty to refuse, although he 
was sure that he would thereby lose his place, 
and with it the only means within his reach of 
supporting his family. As he expected, he was 
at once told that his services were no longer 
needed ; but the affair was brought to the notice 
of those a little higher in authority, and he was 
forthwith reinstated, with duties still lighter 
than before, and having won the respect of all 
around him for his steadfast adherence to Chris- 
tian principles. 



45 



Not long thereafter the War Department em- 
ployed him in the secret service, for which he 
was admirably fitted by his incorruptible inte- 
grity, his wonderful insight into human charac- 
ter, his remarkable shrewdness and sagacity, and 
even by that early familiarity with the crooked 
ways of the ungodly, whose artifices he so well 
understood, and whose duplicity he was thus the 
better able to detect and expose. More than one 
unfaithful Government official thus found him- 
self unexpectedly retrograding in station or sum- 
marily dismissed the service, while flattering 
himself that none but deluded and admiring 
eyes were observing his career. 

Striking proof of his fidelity and fearlessness 
in the discharge of the duties of this unenviable 
post may be found in a pamphlet entitled: "Re- 
port of the Select Committee relative to Frauds 
committed upon Soldiers, the People, and the 
Government, made to the House of Representa- 
tives of the State of Pennsylvania, May 24, 
1865. " His testimony before this Committee is 
recorded on pages 38-43, and affords convincing 
evidence of his possession, in a remarkable de- 
gree, of the traits of character above alluded to. 



46 



The health of Bro. Sees continued to improve; 
and his voice growing stronger, I began to enter- 
tain hopes of seeing him enter the gospel minis- 
try for which he could have been easily and 
speedily prepared. How his heart bounded at 
the thought, when this was proposed to him! 
"Oh, Brother Hay, if the Lord would only allow 
me to do that! But no; my health is* too far 
gone. I am sure I could not stand it. But F1I 
do what I can in an humbler sphere, God help- 
ing me.'" And right nobly did he carry out this 
resolution, as I delight to testify. Never was 
there a more fearless witness for the truth, as 
opportunity offered, or one more anxious to atone 
for the evils of an early life of sin by direct per- 
sonal efforts for the conversion of those whom he 
had formerly led astray. He not only made his 
youthful associates, lining on in sin around him, 
the subjects of special prayer, but he visited them, 
and frankly and affectionately set before them all 
that was in his heart with regard to them : how 
bitterly he lamented that he had gone with them 
and urged them on in the ways of sin; how he 
mourned to think that he could not now undo 
the harm he thus had done; how earnestly he 
desired that they, too, should see the folly and 



47 



the danger of their course as he had done, and 
that they, too, should now give their hearts to 
God, and be happy in enjoying his favor. 

In addition to this he adopted the expedient 
of writing letters to them, some of which he read 
to me before delivering them, in which he made 
the most earnest and affecting appeals, express- 
ing, indeed, the fear that these heartfelt entreaties 
might not, for the present, be heeded, but asking 
it as a personal favor, to an old and tried friend, 
that these letters should be carefully preserved, 
in the belief that, sooner or later, the clay would 
come when these, the companions of his youth, 
would be willing to give heed to what he felt to 
be the dying counsels of one who had sinned with 
them, and now with all his heart was praying 
for them. "I hope/' said he, "this will then 
sound to them like a voice from the grave." God 
grant it ! In this way, as in many others, our 
dear departed brother, though dead, yet speaketh. 

And now, dear reader, you are prepared to 
learn that, as our brother's attenuated frame 
wasted more and more away, his lustrous eye 
grew yet more bright as # it caught an occasional 
glimpse of the glory that is to be revealed. Oh 
how he sometimes longed to be free from this 



48 



body of death ! But, suddenly checking himself, 
he would exclaim, "It is not quite time yet; the 
Lord knows best; His will be done." 

Among those who visited him, as his end drew 
near, was one (R. J. F., Esq.,) who had known 
him well in his days of reckless folly, and whose 
Christian counsels and example had doubtless 
often checked him in his sinful career. From 
this brother's private journal we are permitted to 
make the following extract: 

" On Sunday, Oct. 1, 1865, I called to see 
Captain William E. Sees, who had been taken 
suddenly ill, and who, to all human appearance, 
was rapidly approaching his end, and never have 
I witnessed so powerful an illustration of the tri- 
umph of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, under 
the immediate prospect of death. When I ex- 
pressed a hope that God would see fit to raise 
him up again, he replied that he had no desire 
to live, unless it was the will of God that he 
should be useful in admonishing his fellow-men 
to repent and give their hearts to God. 'All is 
right with me/ he continued, 'my work is done; 
Jesus is waiting to receive me. But, oh! had I 
put off the saving of my soul to this hour of 



49 



weakness and suffering, where would I now be ? 
Thank God, the way is perfectly clear before me !' 
All the while his soul seemed filled with the most 
joyful anticipations, and a heavenly smile lighted 
up his countenance. Surely, thought I, here is 
one of God's chosen people; and it is a privilege 
to be present. May my last end be like his! On 
the following Sabbath I paid my last tribute of 
respect to his sacred dust/' 

Peacefully, sweetly he fell asleep in J esus, and 
waits, amid the saints made perfect, to welcome 
us to share with him those joys that have been 
purchased and prepared for all that love the 
Lord. 

Dear reader, perhaps you knew him well in 
days gone by. Are you prepared to grasp his 
hand in joyful recognition, and sing with him the 
new song in the mansions of the blessed, world 
without end ? 
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